1. Sharpen the saw.
Don’t work yourself to death. Strive for a sustainable
lifestyle that affords you time to recuperate, recharge and be effective in the
long-term.
2. Be proactive.
Proactive people, however, recognize they have
responsibility -- or "response-ability," which Covey defines as the
ability to choose how you will respond to a given stimulus or situation.
3. Begin with an end in mind.
Don’t spend your life working aimlessly, tackling whatever
job is at hand. Have a vision for the future and align your actions accordingly
to make it into a reality.
4. Put first things first.
To prioritize your work, focus on what’s important, meaning
the things that bring you closer to your vision of the future. Don’t get
distracted by urgent but unimportant tasks.
5. Think win-win.
When negotiating with other, don’t try to get the biggest
slice of the cake, but rather find a division that is acceptable to all
parties. You will still get your fair share, and build strong positive
relationships in the process.
6. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
When someone presents
us with a problem, we often jump right to giving a solution. This is a mistake.
We should first take time to really listen to the other person and only then
make recommendations.
7. Synergize.
Adopt the guiding principle that in a group, the
contributions of many will far exceed those of any individual. This will help
you achieve goals you could never have reached on your own.
7 Habits
of Highly Effective People Summary
The 7
Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey is a self-improvement
book. It is written on Covey's belief that the way we see the world is entirely
based on our own perceptions. In order to change a given situation, we must
change ourselves, and in order to change ourselves, we must be able to change
our perceptions.
We all want to succeed.
And one path to success is identifying the habits that can help us on our
journey.
I recommend starting that path by reading Stephen Covey's
best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Don't have time to read
all 432 pages?
I get it -- most of us don't. That's why we
summarized the entire book for you below.
7 Habits
of Highly Effective People
1. Be Proactive
2. Begin with the End in
Mind
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek First to Understand,
Then to Be Understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw
What habits do highly effective people have?
The book opens with an explanation of how
many individuals who have achieved a high degree of outward success still find
themselves struggling with an inner need for developing personal effectiveness
and growing healthy relationships with other people.
Covey believes the way we see the world is
entirely based on our own perceptions. In order to change a given situation, we
must change ourselves, and in order to change ourselves, we must be able to
change our perceptions.
In studying over 200 years of literature on
the concept of "success," Covey identified a very important change in
the way that humans have defined success over time.
In earlier times, the foundation of success
rested upon character ethic (things like integrity, humility, fidelity,
temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the
Golden Rule). But starting around the 1920s, the way people viewed success
shifted to what Covey calls "personality ethic" (where success is a
function of personality, public image, attitudes, and behaviors).
These
days, people look for quick fixes. They see a successful person, team, or
organization and ask, "How do you do it? Teach me your
techniques!" But
these "shortcuts" that we look for, hoping to save time and effort
and still achieve the desired result, are simply band-aids that will yield
short-term solutions. They don't address the underlying condition.
"The way we see the problem is the
problem," Covey writes. We must allow ourselves to undergo paradigm shifts
-- to change ourselves fundamentally and not just alter our attitudes and
behaviors on the surface level -- in order to achieve true change.
That's where the seven habits of highly
effective people come in:
·
Habits 1,
2, and 3 are focused on self-mastery and moving from dependence to
independence.
·
Habits 4,
5, and 6 are focused on developing teamwork, collaboration, and communication
skills, and moving from independence to interdependence.
·
Habit 7 is
focused on continuous growth and improvement and embodies all the other habits.
1. Be Proactive
Quick Summary:
We're in charge. We choose the scripts by
which to live our lives. Use this self-awareness to be proactive and take
responsibility for your choices.
The first habit that Covey discusses is being
proactive. What distinguishes us as humans from all other animals is our
inherent ability to examine our own character, to decide how to view ourselves
and our situations, and to control our own effectiveness.
Put simply, in order to be effective one must
be proactive.
Reactive people take a passive stance -- they
believe the world is happening to them. They say things like:
·
"There's
nothing I can do."
·
"That's
just the way I am."
They think the problem is "out
there" -- but that thought is the problem. Reactivity becomes a
self-fulfilling prophecy, and reactive people feel increasingly victimized and
out of control.
Proactive people, however, recognize they
have responsibility -- or "response-ability," which Covey defines as
the ability to choose how you will respond to a given stimulus or situation.
In order to be proactive, we must focus on
the Circle of Influence that lies within our Circle of Concern-- in other
words, we must work on the things we can do something about.
The positive energy we exert will cause our Circle of Influence to expand.
Reactive people, on the other hand, focus on
things that are in their Circle of Concern but not in their Circle of
Influence, which leads to blaming external factors, emanating negative energy,
and causing their Circle of Influence to shrink.
Key Lessons:
Challenge yourself to test the principle of
proactivity by doing the following:
1. Start
replacing reactive language with proactive language.
Reactive = "He makes me so mad."
Proactive = "I control my own feelings."
Proactive = "I control my own feelings."
2. Convert
reactive tasks into proactive ones.
2. Begin with the End in
Mind
Quick Summary:
Start with a clear destination in mind. Covey
says we can use our imagination to develop a vision of what we want to become
and use our conscience to decide what values will guide us.
Most of us find it rather easy to busy
ourselves. We work hard to achieve victories -- promotions, higher income, more
recognition. But we don't often stop to evaluate the meaning behind this
busyness, behind these victories -- we don't ask ourselves if these things that
we focus on so intently are what really matter to us.
Habit 2 suggests that, in everything we do,
we should begin with the end in mind. Start with a clear destination. That way,
we can make sure the steps we're taking are in the right direction.
Covey emphasizes that our self-awareness
empowers us to shape our own lives, instead of living our lives by default or
based on the standards or preferences of others.
Beginning
with the end in mind is also extremely important for businesses. Being a
manager is about optimizing for efficiency. But being a leader is about setting
the right strategic vision for your organization in the first place, and
asking, "What
are we trying to accomplish?"
Before we as individuals or organizations can
start setting and achieving goals, we must be able to identify our values. This
process may involve some rescripting to be able to assert our own personal
values.
Rescripting, Covey explains, is recognizing
ineffective scripts that have been written for you, and changing those scripts
by proactively writing new ones that are built of your own values.
It is also important to identify our center.
Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security,
guidance, wisdom, and power.
Our centers affect us fundamentally -- they
determine our daily decisions, actions, and motivations, as well as our
interpretation of events.
However, Covey notes that none of these
centers are optimal and that instead, we should strive to be
principle-centered. We should identify the timeless, unchanging principles by
which we must live our lives. This will give us the guidance that we need to
align our behaviors with our beliefs and values.
Key Lessons:
Challenge yourself to test the principle of
beginning with the end in mind by doing the following:
1. Visualize
in rich detail your own funeral. Who
is there? What are they saying about you? About how you lived your life? About
the relationships you had? What do you want them to say? Think about how your
priorities would change if you only had 30 more days to live. Start living by
these priorities.
2. Break down different roles in your life -- whether professional, personal, or
community -- and list three to five goals you want to achieve for each.
3. Define what scares you. Public speaking? Critical feedback after
writing a book? Write down the worst-case scenario for your biggest fear, then
visualize how you'll handle this situation. Write down exactly how you'll
handle it.
3. Put First Things First
Quick Summary:
In order to manage ourselves effectively, we
must put first things first. We must have the discipline to prioritize our
day-to-day actions based on what is most important, not what is most urgent.
In Habit 2, we discussed the importance of
determining our values and understanding what it is we are setting out to
achieve. Habit 3 is about actually going after these goals, and executing on
our priorities on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis.
In order to maintain the discipline and the
focus to stay on track toward our goals, we need to have the willpower to do
something when we don't want to do it. We need to act according to our values
rather than our desires or impulses at any given moment.
All activities can be categorized based on
two factors: Urgent and important. Take a look at this time management matrix:
We react to urgent matters. We spend our time
doing things that are not important. That means that we neglect Quadrant II,
which is the actually most crucial of them all.
If we focus on Quadrant I and spend our time managing crises and
problems, it keeps getting bigger and bigger until it consumes us. This leads
to stress, burnout, and constantly putting out fires.
If we focus on Quadrant III, we spend most of our time reacting to
matters that seem urgent, when the reality is their perceived urgency is based
on the priorities and expectations of others. This leads to short-term focus,
feeling out of control, and shallow or broken relationships.
If we focus on Quadrant IV, we are basically leading an
irresponsible life. This often leads to getting fired from jobs and being
highly dependent on others.
Quadrant II is at the heart of effective personal management.
It deals with things like building relationships, long-term planning,
exercising, preparation -- all things we know we need to do but somehow seldom
get around to actually doing because they don't feel urgent.
In order to focus our time in Quadrant II, we
have to learn how to say "no" to other activities, sometimes ones
that seem urgent. We also need to be able to delegate effectively.
Plus, when
we focus on Quadrant II, it means we're thinking ahead, working on the roots,
and preventing crises from happening in the first place! This helps us
implement the Pareto Principle -- 80% of your results come from 20% of
your time.
We should always maintain a primary focus on
relationships and results, and a secondary focus on time.
"Think effectiveness with people and
efficiency with things." -Stephen
Covey
Key Lessons:
Here are some ways you can practice putting
first things first:
1. Identify a Quadrant II activity you've
been neglecting. Write it
down and commit to implementing it.
2. Create your own time management matrix to start prioritizing.
3. Estimate how much time you spend in each
quadrant. Then log your time
over 3 days. How accurate was your estimate? How much time did you spend in
Quadrant II (the most important quadrant)?
4. Think Win-Win
Quick Summary:
In order
to establish effective interdependent relationships, we must commit to creating Win-Win
situations that are mutually beneficial and satisfying to each party.
Covey explains that there are six paradigms
of human interaction:
1. Win-Win: Both people win. Agreements or solutions are
mutually beneficial and satisfying to both parties.
2. Win-Lose: "If I win, you lose." Win-Lose people are prone to use
position, power, credentials, and personality to get their way.
3. Lose-Win: "I lose, you win." Lose-Win people are quick to please
and appease, and seek strength from popularity or acceptance.
4. Lose-Lose: Both people lose. When two Win-Lose people
get together -- that is, when two, determined, stubborn, ego-invested
individuals interact -- the result will be Lose-Lose.
5. Win: People with the Win mentality don't
necessarily want someone else to lose -- that's irrelevant. What matters is
that they get what they want.
6. Win-Win or No Deal: If you can't reach an agreement that is
mutually beneficial, there is no deal.
The best option is to create Win-Win
situations. With Win-Lose, or Lose-Win, one person appears to get what he wants
for the moment, but the results will negatively impact the relationship between
those two people going forward.
The Win-Win or No Deal option is important to
use as a backup. When we have No Deal as an option in our mind, it liberates us
from needing to manipulate people and push our own agenda. We can be open and
really try to understand the underlying issues.
In solving for Win-Win, we must consider two
factors: Consideration and courage. Take a look at the following chart:
"To
go for Win-Win, you not only have to be nice, you have to be courageous." -Stephen Covey
Another
important factor in solving for Win-Win situations is maintaining an Abundance Mentality, or the belief that there's plenty out there
for everyone.
Most
people operate with the Scarcity Mentality -- meaning they act as though
everything is zero-sum (in other words, if you get it, I don't). People with
the Scarcity Mentality have a very hard time sharing recognition or credit and
find it difficult to be genuinely happy about other people's successes.
When it comes to interpersonal leadership,
the more genuine our character is, the higher our level of proactivity; the
more committed we are to Win-Win, the more powerful our influence will be.
To achieve Win-Win, keep the focus on
results, not methods; on problems, not people.
Lastly, the spirit of Win-Win can't survive
in an environment of competition. As an organization, we need to align our
reward system with our goals and values and have the systems in place to
support Win-Win.
Key Lessons:
Get yourself to start thinking Win-Win with
these challenges:
1. Think about an upcoming interaction where you'll be attempting to reach an
agreement or solution. Write down a list of what the other person is looking
for. Next, write a list next to that of how you can make an offer to meet those
needs.
2. Identify three important relationships in
your life. Think
about what you feel the balance is in each of those relationships. Do you give
more than you take? Take more than you give? Write down 10 ways to always give
more than you take with each one.
3. Deeply consider your own interaction
tendencies. Are
they Win-Lose? How does that affect your interactions with others? Can you
identify the source of that approach? Determine whether or not this approach
serves you well in your relationships. Write all of this down.
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5. Seek First to
Understand, Then to Be Understood
Quick Summary:
Before we can offer advice, suggest
solutions, or effectively interact with another person in any way, we must seek
to deeply understand them and their perspective through empathic listening.
Let's say
you go to an optometrist and tell him that you've been having trouble seeing
clearly, and he takes off his glasses, hands them to you and says, "Here,
try these -- they've been working for me for years!" You put them on, but they only make the
problem worse. What are the chances you'd go back to that optometrist?
Unfortunately, we do the same thing in our
everyday interactions with others. We prescribe a solution before we diagnose
the problem. We don't seek to deeply understand the problem first.
Habit 5 says that we must seek first to
understand, then to be understood. In order to seek to understand, we must
learn to listen.
We can't simply use one technique to
understand someone. In fact, if a person senses that we're manipulating her,
she will question our motives and will no longer feel safe opening up to us.
"You
have to build the skills of empathic listening on a base of character that
inspires openness and trust." -Stephen
Covey
To listen
empathically requires a fundamental paradigm shift. We typically seek first to
be understood. Most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. At any given moment, they're either
speaking or preparing to speak.
After all, Covey points out, communication
experts estimate that:
When we listen autobiographically -- in other
words, with our own perspective as our frame of reference -- we tend to respond
in one of four ways:
1. Evaluate: Agree or disagree with what is said
2. Probe: Ask questions from our own frame of reference
3. Advise: Give counsel based on our own experience
4. Interpret: Try to figure out the person's motives
and behavior based on our own motives and behavior
But if we
replace these types of response with empathic listening, we see dramatic
results in improved communication. It takes time to make this shift, but it
doesn't take nearly as long to practice empathic listening as it does to back up and correct
misunderstandings, or to live with unexpressed and unresolved problems only to
have them surface later on.
The second part of Habit 5 is " ... then
to be understood." This is equally critical in achieving Win-Win
solutions.
When we're able to present our ideas clearly,
and in the context of a deep understanding of the other person's needs and
concerns, we significantly increase the credibility of your ideas.
Key Lessons:
Here are a few ways to get yourself in the
habit of seeking first to understand:
1. Next time you're watching two people
communicating, cover your ears and watch. What emotions are being communicated that might not
come across through words alone? Was one person or the other more interested in
the conversation? Write down what you noticed.
2. Next time you give a presentation,
root it in empathy. Begin
by describing the audience's point of view in great detail. What problems are
they facing? How is what you're about to say offering a solution to their
problems?
6. Synergize
Quick Summary:
By understanding and valuing the differences
in another person's perspective, we have the opportunity to create synergy,
which allows us to uncover new possibilities through openness and creativity.
The combination of all the other habits
prepares us for Habit 6, which is the habit of synergy or "When one plus
one equals three or more and the whole is great than the sum of its
parts."
For example, if you plant two plants close
together, their roots will co-mingle and improve the quality of the soil, so
that both plants will grow better than they would on their own.
Synergy allows
us to create new alternatives and open new possibilities. It allows us as a
group to collectively agree to ditch the old scripts and write new ones.
"Without
doubt, you have to leave the comfort zone of base camp and confront an entirely
new and unknown wilderness." -Stephen
Covey
So how can we introduce synergy to a given
situation or environment? Start with habits 4 and 5 -- you must think Win-Win
and seek first to understand.
Once you have these in mind, you can pool
your desires with those of the other person or group. And then you're not on
opposite sides of the problem -- you're together on one side, looking at the
problem, understanding all the needs, and working to create a third alternative
that will meet them.
What we end up with is not a transaction, but
a transformation. Both sides get what they want, and they build their
relationship in the process.
By putting forth a spirit of trust and
safety, we will prompt others to become extremely open and feed on each other's
insights and ideas, creating synergy.
The real essence of synergy is valuing the differences
-- the mental, emotional, and psychological differences between people.
After all,
if two people have the same opinion, one is unnecessary. When we become aware
of someone's different perspective, we can say, "Good!
You see it differently! Help me see what you see."
We seek first to understand, and then we find
strength and utility in those different perspectives in order to create new
possibilities and Win-Win results.
Synergy allows you to:
·
Value the
differences in other people as a way to expand your perspective
·
Sidestep
negative energy and look for the good in others
·
Exercise
courage in interdependent situations to be open and encourage others to be open
·
Catalyze
creativity and find a solution that will be better for everyone by looking for
a third alternative
Key Lessons:
1. Make a list of people who irritate
you. Now choose just one
person. How are their views different? Put yourself in their shoes for one
minute. Think and pretend how it feels to be them. Does this help you
understand them better?
Now next time you're in a disagreement with
that person, try to understand their concerns and why they disagree with you.
The better you can understand them, the easier it will be to change their mind
-- or change yours.
2. Make a list of people with whom you get
along well. Now
choose just one person. How are their views different? Now write down a
situation where you had excellent teamwork and synergy. Why? What conditions
were met to reach such fluidity in your interactions? How can you recreate
those conditions again?
7. Sharpen the Saw
Quick Summary:
To be effective, we must devote the time to
renewing ourselves physically, spiritually, mentally, and socially. Continuous
renewal allows us to synergistically increase our ability to practice each
habit.
Habit 7 is
focused around renewal, or taking time to "sharpen the saw." It surrounds all of the other habits and makes
each one possible by preserving and enhancing your greatest asset -- yourself.
There are four dimensions of our nature, and
each must be exercised regularly, and in balanced ways:
Physical Dimension: The goal of continuous physical
improvement is to exercise our body in a way that will enhance our capacity to
work, adapt, and enjoy.
To renew ourselves physically, we must:
·
Eat well
·
Get
sufficient rest and relaxation
·
Exercise
on a regular basis to build endurance, flexibility, and strength
Focusing on the physical dimension helps
develop Habit 1 muscles of proactivity. We act based on the value of well-being
instead of reacting to the forces that keep us from fitness.
Spiritual Dimension: The goal of renewing our spiritual self
is to provide leadership to our life and reinforce your commitment to our value
system.
To renew yourself spiritually, you can:
·
Practice
daily meditation
·
Communicate
with nature
·
Immerse
yourself in great literature or music
A focus on our spiritual dimension helps us practice
Habit 2, as we continuously revise and commit ourselves to our values, so we
can begin with the end in mind.
Mental Dimension: The goal of renewing our mental health
is to continue expanding our mind.
To renew yourself mentally, you can:
·
Read good literature
·
Keep a
journal of your thoughts, experiences, and insights
·
Limit
television watching to only those programs that enrich your life and mind
Focusing on our mental dimension helps us
practice Habit 3 by managing ourselves effectively to maximize the use of our
time and resources.
Social/Emotional Dimension: The goal of renewing ourselves socially is to
develop meaningful relationships.
To renew yourself emotionally, you can:
·
Seek to
deeply understand other people
·
Make
contributions to meaningful projects that improve the lives of others
·
Maintain
an Abundance Mentality, and seek to help others find success
Renewing our social and emotional dimension
helps us practice Habits 4, 5, and 6 by recognizing that Win-Win solutions do
exist, seeking to understand others, and finding mutually beneficial third
alternatives through synergy.
"Not
a day goes by that we can't at least serve one other human being by making
deposits of unconditional love." -Stephen
Covey
As we focus on renewing ourselves along these
four dimensions, we must also seek to be a positive scripter for other people.
We must look to inspire others to a higher path by showing them we believe in
them, by listening to them empathically, by encouraging them to be proactive.
The real beauty of the 7 Habits is that
improvement in one habit synergistically increases our ability to improve the
rest.
Renewal is the process that empowers us to
move along an upward spiral of growth and change, of continuous improvement.
Key Lessons:
1. Make a list of activities that would
help you renew yourself along
each of the 4 dimensions. Select one activity for each dimension and list it as
a goal for the coming week. At the end of the week, evaluate your performance.
What led you to succeed or fail to accomplish each goal?
2. Commit to writing down a specific
"sharpen the saw" activity in
all four dimensions every week, to do them, and to evaluate your performance
and results.
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